How to manage infant crying in 5 Steps

For your infant, crying is their main means of communication. They cannot speak yet, but they use crying to express a need, discomfort, or emotion. Over time and through observation, you will gradually learn to recognize your child’s different signals. Here are some guidelines and tips to better understand your infant’s cries and respond appropriately. Here is how to manage infant crying in 5 steps.

Why is my infant crying?

During the first months of life, your baby mainly expresses their needs by crying. Some believe that the more intense the crying, the greater the need, while others think each need corresponds to a specific type of cry. In any case, over time, your baby refines their ways of expressing themselves, and you will gradually learn to recognize their needs. Here are some cues that can help you interpret crying:

• Hunger: crying often starts softly and then intensifies, accompanied by head movements as if your baby is looking to nurse.
• Pain: cries are sharp and intense; your child may stiffen or squirm. These cries may be linked to stomach pain, infant colic, a trapped burp, or teething.
• Fear: these cries appear after a noise or an unusual situation and are often accompanied by a worried expression. Your baby needs reassurance.
• Discomfort, boredom, or fatigue: crying is initially mild and intermittent, then may increase if nothing changes. It is helpful to check the diaper, temperature, or your baby’s position.

Want to learn more? Feel free to download the May app, where you’ll find plenty of resources to support and guide you throughout your journey as a new parent.

Step 1 to manage infant crying : observe the crying

During the first three months of life, an infant cries on average between 2 and 3 hours per day. Crying does not always mean pain. Above all, it is a means of expression for your baby. Most of the time, a baby cries to express a need. Parents are often best placed to interpret their baby’s cries and know how to respond. During the first weeks, it can be difficult to decode your child’s cries.

When your baby cries, we recommend trying to provide a specific type of care (changing them, feeding them, etc.) and observing their reaction. If your action helps soothe them, you were right; otherwise, you can try something else. Over time, you will learn to understand them better and better.

Step 2 to manage infant crying : give a hug

For effective emotional support for your child, nothing beats physical contact. Holding your baby helps them calm down, and this is scientifically proven. Contact with you triggers the release of oxytocin, also known as the “love hormone.” Oxytocin acts as an antidote to cortisol, the stress hormone that is released by their brain when they cry. This therefore helps calm them.

However, it is not always possible to hold your baby in your arms for long periods. To provide physical contact while keeping your hands free, you can use a baby carrier such as a wrap. Your baby will be held close to you, and your movements will help soothe them.

A word from Astrid Brunswick, psychologist:

“While your child’s need for comfort can involve cuddle time, there are many other possible responses if you do not feel available for that, which is perfectly okay. You can be reassuring by placing a hand on them while gently rocking, by playing music for them while staying nearby, or by going back and forth between moments when you talk to soothe them and moments when you step out of the room to breathe.”

Step 3 to manage infant crying: establish a bedtime routine

From around 4 months of age, you can start establishing a bedtime routine if you wish. This repetitive moment helps your baby prepare for sleep and gives them a sense of security. By repeating the same actions every evening, in the same order and in the same place, you provide reassuring cues that make separation at bedtime easier.

For it to be effective, this routine should take place in a calm atmosphere, with soft lighting and minimal stimulation. Consistency is key: a simple, repeated routine helps your baby understand that nighttime is approaching. The routine should remain short (around ten minutes for younger babies) and begin at the first signs of fatigue. It may include:

• a lullaby,
• a short story,
• a bottle or feeding if needed,
• a cuddle.

Make sure to follow this routine in the same order every evening. The important thing is that it is a pleasant and soothing moment, adapted to your child.

Step 4 to manage infant crying : wait for it to pass

When your baby cries (and even adults, for that matter), they release toxins present in their body due to stress. Crying therefore helps restore hormonal balance. In other words, crying has a positive effect on the body because it allows a transition from a state of stress to a state of relaxation.

This is why people often refer to “release crying.” If your baby is crying and you feel like you have tried everything without success, the best thing to do is often simply to wait while staying close to them, holding them or gently stroking them to reassure them.

Step 5 to manage infant crying : prioritize your baby’s safety above all

As we mentioned, crying is primarily a means of expression for your baby. Its main function is to alert an adult to express a need. From this perspective, infant crying is a very effective means of communication, but sometimes difficult to tolerate. It is therefore completely normal to feel overwhelmed by a baby’s continuous crying. If you feel you are reaching your limit, the best thing to do is to take a step back so you do not become overwhelmed.

Persistent crying from your baby can indeed stress you to the point of becoming impulsive, shouting, or even shaking or handling your baby roughly in an attempt to stop the crying… It is important to prevent shaken baby syndrome. It occurs when an adult violently shakes a baby or young child. The child’s brain is then thrown back and forth inside the skull, which can cause irreversible rupture of certain cerebral arteries and lead to severe neurological, motor, or psychological damage.

If you feel you cannot cope anymore, we recommend taking a break by placing your child safely in their crib. You can then leave the room for a moment to calm down and return more available to soothe your baby. Finally, in some situations, it may be necessary to consult a pediatrician. If the crying is unusual, very intense, accompanied by fever, vomiting, refusal to eat, or a change in behavior, it is best to seek medical advice. In summary, crying is an integral part of infant development. It is their main means of communication to express needs, emotions, or discomfort. Over time and with experience, you will gradually learn to better understand your baby and respond appropriately to their signals.

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Photo credits: evahernandezmartinez | DragonImages | morrowlight | SabrinaBracher | OlgaSmolina

This text was translated from French by an artificial intelligence. The information, advice, and sources it contains comply with French standards and may therefore not apply to your situation. Make sure to complement this reading by visiting the May US/UK app and consulting the healthcare professionals who are supporting you.