Pregnancy and Sexuality: What Changes?

There are many preconceived ideas about sexuality during pregnancy. Of course, your condition may require some adjustments or precautions compared to usual, but note that it is perfectly possible to maintain a fulfilling sex life even while pregnant.

As Valentine’s Day approaches, let’s debunk the misconceptions about sexuality during pregnancy.

How does pregnancy affect sexuality?

Just like other significant moments in your life, pregnancy can affect your sexuality, whether alone or with a partner, and more broadly, the intimacy of your relationship.

During pregnancy, your body undergoes a complex hormonal process and some of these hormones may incidentally influence sexual desire, such as oxytocin (especially at the end of pregnancy and during childbirth), also known as the “pleasure and love hormone.” As a result, sexual desire may increase.

On the other hand, pregnancy also brings its share of fatigue, unpleasant symptoms such as nausea, back pain, breast tenderness, stress, and anxiety… which may understandably hinder sexual desire.

Sexual desire by trimester

Of course, there are no hard rules. Firstly, because every woman has a unique sexuality. Secondly, because each pregnant woman experiences pregnancy in her own way. Therefore, it’s impossible to generalize. That said, since pregnancy symptoms can influence sexual desire, here’s how your sexuality may evolve throughout pregnancy.

First trimester

The first trimester is often associated with the onset of early pregnancy symptoms, such as:

• nausea,
• more frequent urination,
• fatigue,
• aches and cramps,
• digestive issues,
• weight gain or loss,
• acne,
• mood swings,
• shortness of breath,
• changes in taste or sensitivity (to certain smells, for example)…

These symptoms vary greatly from woman to woman (and are sometimes completely absent — hopefully for you). But when significant, they can impact your libido.

Second trimester

It’s generally during the second trimester that pregnancy discomforts ease: your body adjusts to hormonal fluctuations, which stabilize. As a result, you may find yourself with a higher libido.

Every woman experiences pregnancy and sexuality differently. If your libido doesn’t return during the second trimester, or if you simply don’t feel like having sex, don’t force yourself. Let’s be clear: there’s no obligation to have sex during pregnancy (or at any other time for that matter!), so listen to your body and follow your desires.

Third trimester

Again, your desires in the third trimester can vary greatly. This is another period of physical and hormonal changes, which may influence your libido.

The growing size of your belly may make intercourse more difficult (physically or psychologically in some cases), or your doctor may advise against it due to certain pregnancy complications. On the other hand, hormonal variations may also boost your libido! Remember: oxytocin levels increase significantly in late pregnancy and during labor, potentially increasing your desire to have sex.

Pregnancy and sexuality: what about your partner?

It’s also worth noting that pregnancy can affect your partner’s sexuality. Even without the hormonal and bodily changes of pregnancy, they may feel stressed, tired, or afraid of doing something wrong. That’s why it’s important to communicate openly as a couple.

As you’ve understood by now, when it comes to sexuality — as with everything — there are no rules. Each pregnant woman is different. Some may have a thriving sex drive, even more than usual, while others won’t give it a second thought. All judgment or pressure about this should be avoided. Except one: listen to yourself!

What are the benefits of sexuality during pregnancy?

Did you know? Sex has many benefits during pregnancy. Let’s take a closer look.

Hormones

Sex can trigger a real cocktail of wellness hormones in your body, releasing: oxytocin (the love and attachment hormone that brings happiness and calm), endorphins (which relieve pain, soothe nerves, and improve sleep), and serotonin (the mood-boosting, anti-stress hormone).

The heart

Sexual arousal increases blood pressure and heart rate, which is great for your heart. Arousal and the physiological changes that follow train your heart to shift from a resting state to an active one, helping it function well.

Is it safe to have sex during pregnancy?

There are many myths about sex during pregnancy. But in the vast majority of cases, sexual intercourse — as long as it’s adapted to your pregnancy (no extreme or dangerous practices) — is perfectly safe (and even very beneficial, as we’ve seen above) for a pregnant woman.

Is penetrative sex allowed during pregnancy?

Unless medically advised otherwise, there is no contraindication to having penetrative sex during pregnancy if you feel like it.

Your baby is well protected in the uterus and the amniotic sac. So there is no risk of your partner reaching or harming your baby (and no risk of this causing a miscarriage). Using a sex toy is also safe!

Good to know: during pregnancy, penetration does not equal pain. Pain is your body’s warning sign, so be attentive and listen to yourself.

Are there risks with sex during pregnancy?

As we’ve seen, in the vast majority of cases, sex during pregnancy is safe for you and your baby. However, medical contraindications do exist, and your midwife, gynecologist, or doctor will tell you if they apply. Here are some situations where penetrative sex is generally discouraged:

• Placenta previa: when the placenta is located low in the uterus, near the cervix. Penetration may cause bleeding and/or a risk of placental abruption.
• Bleeding during intercourse: these may be harmless, but it’s always wise to consult your healthcare provider to make sure everything is fine.
• Premature rupture of membranes: if there is a risk of preterm labor, your healthcare provider will likely advise against sexual activity.

So, the takeaway is: don’t worry, unless advised otherwise by your doctor, your sex life doesn’t have to stop. And remember… you can have a fulfilling sex life without penetration too!

Want to learn more? Feel free to download the May app, where you’ll find plenty of resources to support and guide you throughout your pregnancy.

Can sex trigger labor?

No! It’s true that semen contains prostaglandins that help, at the end of pregnancy, to soften the cervix. That’s why people often talk about the so-called “Italian induction.” However, having intercourse with ejaculation does not affect the timing of labor and does not trigger childbirth.

Sexuality during pregnancy: practical advice

Now that we’ve covered the benefits of sexuality during pregnancy, here are some practical tips.

Which sexual positions are recommended during pregnancy?

Again, there are no rules other than to listen to yourself: as long as you feel good and experience no pain, go for it!

As we’ve mentioned, your partner cannot touch your baby’s head during intercourse, in any position! Your baby is protected by a formidable shield: the amniotic sac, filled with amniotic fluid.

The only thing we can recommend is to avoid overly acrobatic positions that could risk a fall for the expectant mother.

Condoms during pregnancy

A condom is a contraceptive method, commonly used to prevent pregnancy. But it also protects against sexually transmitted infections (STIs). Depending on your situation and your sexual partners, using a condom is highly recommended during pregnancy (especially if you have multiple partners).

Adjusting to your new body during pregnancy

During pregnancy, your body will change in incredible ways. Some of these changes may affect your relationship with your sexuality, including:

• Your growing belly.
• Your breasts growing and becoming more sensitive.
• Colostrum appearing late in pregnancy.
• Hemorrhoids.
• Stretch marks.
• An increase in vaginal discharge.
• Swelling of the vulva and increased sensitivity of the clitoris, vagina, and labia…

Every pregnant woman experiences these symptoms differently: one may feel more attractive than ever, while another may feel uncomfortable in her new body.

How to cope with all these changes?

In her masterclass “Sexuality and Pregnancy,” available on the May app, sexologist Camille Bataillon shares some valuable advice, including:

• Communicate with your partner and find solutions together: why not take the opportunity to reinvent your sexuality (positions, objects, places, non-penetrative sexuality…)?
• Accept the emotional rollercoaster: depending on the day, month, or trimester, you may feel differently and that’s perfectly normal!

If you’re struggling, you can try these helpful strategies:

• Talk to a trusted person and/or a healthcare professional. The May chat was created precisely to open up conversations on taboo-free topics. Our midwives are available 7 days a week from 8 a.m. to 10 p.m. to listen to you.
• Don’t isolate yourself: read testimonials and/or connect with people who have felt the same way as you.

Sexuality after childbirth

Postpartum sexuality is a unique experience for each couple and should be approached without pressure. Take things at your own pace and according to your desires, especially as fatigue and your baby’s arrival may affect your libido. Once again: prioritize communication with your partner so you can both express your needs and any concerns.
Good to know: it takes time for your body to fully recover from childbirth. Don’t hesitate to use lubricant if you experience dryness and take time for yourself to reconnect with your body image. Pelvic floor rehabilitation, strongly recommended even without complications, can also be a major asset in preventing discomfort when resuming intercourse.

If you experienced complications during childbirth, such as the need for instrumental assistance or surgery, your healthcare professional may recommend waiting until your body has recovered before resuming intimate relations (especially those involving penetration). Don’t hesitate to ask your doctor or midwife any questions you may have.

Pssst! To learn more on this topic, be sure to check out the masterclass “Sexuality after having a child,” also available on our app.

As you can see, sexuality during pregnancy is a unique experience for every woman/couple. The key is to listen to yourself and communicate as needed with your partner. And of course, if needed, don’t hesitate to consult your doctor or midwife or to contact one of our healthcare professionals via the app’s chat feature.

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Photo credits: sianstock | Deliriss | nd3000 | Tonefotografia | wirestock | vanenunes | macniak | seventyfourimages | DC_Studio

This text was translated from French by an artificial intelligence. The information, advice, and sources it contains comply with French standards and may therefore not apply to your situation. Make sure to complement this reading by visiting the May ES/UK app and consulting the healthcare professionals who are supporting you.