My husband doesn’t support me during pregnancy: how can we improve the situation?

While pregnancy is generally a time of shared happiness for two, a lack of support from your partner can turn this key stage into a more difficult experience. What are the impacts of a co-parent’s lack of support during pregnancy? How can you try to open a dialogue? When should you ask for help?

My husband doesn’t support me during pregnancy: how can we improve the situation?

The importance of co-parent support during pregnancy

Pregnancy transforms your daily life, both emotionally and physically. Being able to rely on your partner during this time strengthens the sense of security you need to welcome your baby.

The co-parent: valuable emotional support during pregnancy

Hormonal changes at the beginning of pregnancy, sometimes accompanied by nausea, fatigue, or doubts, can make you more vulnerable to stress. Your partner’s attentive and caring presence then plays an essential role.

An involved partner can help:

• Reduce your sense of isolation by sharing your worries and questions during this time of change.
• Reassure you through their words and active participation in pregnancy-related medical appointments.
• Prevent long-term emotional distress by encouraging dialogue and attentive listening.

Pregnancy is a time of both physical and psychological changes, so it is normal to experience emotional fluctuations during this period. However, certain signs should alert you: persistent sadness, loss of interest, overwhelming anxiety, significant sleep disturbances, or a feeling of emotional exhaustion.

If these symptoms persist, it is important not to stay alone. Talking to your midwife, your doctor, or a psychologist can help you regain balance.

Positive impacts on your relationship

When your partner is actively involved in your pregnancy, it strengthens your relationship. Consistent support encourages:

• Smoother communication about your expectations, fears, and shared birth plan.
• A sense of closeness and teamwork in facing upcoming changes.
• Better preparation for parenthood through shared reflection on organization, task distribution, and welcoming your baby.

Pregnancy can therefore become an opportunity to strengthen your bond. If tensions persist or you feel overwhelmed, outside support (couples therapy, individual counseling, support groups for expectant parents) can provide a safe space to communicate and better understand each other’s needs.

Want to learn more? Feel free to download the May app, where you’ll find plenty of resources to support and guide you throughout your pregnancy.

How can my husband help me during pregnancy?

Pregnancy is an intense transition period. Here are some tips that can help the co-parent find their place:

• Support without taking control: avoid statements such as “Don’t eat that” or “Don’t stress.” Pregnancy involves uncertainty for everyone; the most important thing is to stay attentive to your partner.
• Get informed to better understand: learning together can help reduce anxiety. Even if much of the content is aimed at women, it remains valuable for the co-parent. Educating yourselves about pregnancy, childbirth, and parenthood helps provide better support and build confidence.
• Actively participate in follow-up care: attending medical appointments and childbirth preparation classes helps you understand each stage, envision what’s ahead, and avoid unnecessary stress on the big day. Being involved allows you to act calmly and thoughtfully.
• Dare to ask questions: don’t stay alone with your doubts. Talking about your concerns, asking healthcare professionals questions, and sharing your thoughts fosters a peaceful environment.
• Maintain open communication: pregnancy transforms the body, sexuality, and couple dynamics. Differences may arise, and that is normal. Communicating openly helps you navigate this time with understanding and closeness.

Why doesn’t my husband support me during pregnancy?

This lack of involvement can be explained by several factors.

Lack of awareness about pregnancy changes

Many partners do not realize the extent of the changes experienced by a pregnant woman. Pregnancy deeply transforms your body: you experience the effects of uterine growth and may face nausea, fatigue, weight gain, and anxiety.

Why this lack of awareness?

• Lack of information: some partners have never been made aware of the realities of pregnancy or of women’s mental load in general.
• Underestimating symptoms: it is common to hear, “It’s normal to be tired when you’re pregnant,” without measuring the real impact on your daily life.
• Absence from prenatal appointments: not accompanying your partner to ultrasounds or childbirth preparation classes limits understanding of what you are experiencing.

Personal and contextual factors

The lack of support is not necessarily related to a lack of love or willingness. It may also be explained by external pressures your husband places on himself:

• Work-related stress: a heavy workload, fear of not being able to financially support your baby’s arrival, or a demanding work environment may divert your partner’s attention.
• Fear of the unknown: becoming a parent changes the couple’s balance. Some men fear their new role, worry about making mistakes, or doubt their ability to measure up.
• A family or cultural model: in some environments, it is still common to think that pregnancy is “a woman’s matter” and that the man should stay in the background. Although newer generations of men are increasingly involved in parenting, these habits can be persistent.

These reasons are in no way excuses for your partner not supporting you during your pregnancy. On the contrary, identifying these potential causes can allow you to discuss them and find solutions together to move forward in the same direction.

How can you communicate with your husband when there is a lack of support?

There are practical communication tools to restore dialogue and express your needs in this context, so you can approach motherhood more calmly.

Techniques for opening dialogue

Addressing the issue of lack of support is never easy. Here are some techniques to start the conversation constructively:

• Choose the right moment: pick a calm time when both of you are available and relaxed, outside of stressful situations.
• Express your needs kindly: for a more peaceful dialogue, we recommend that both of you use “I” statements to talk about your feelings (“I feel alone at prenatal appointments”) rather than accusatory “you” statements (“You’re never there”).
• Give concrete examples: clearly explain the situations in which you would need their support (being present at the ultrasound, helping at home, etc.).
• Listen to their feelings: give them space to express their own fears or misunderstandings. They may feel awkward or insufficiently informed about what you are going through as an expectant mother.
• Write a birth plan together: as healthcare professionals suggest, thinking together about your wishes for childbirth and motherhood can open dialogue, clarify expectations, and strengthen your bond.
• Use communication tools: a task board or a list of upcoming appointments displayed at home can encourage their involvement.

Opening the discussion means creating a climate of trust, where each person can express themselves without judgment, in order to better experience pregnancy and the arrival of your baby.

When should you consult a professional?

Sometimes, despite your efforts, dialogue remains difficult. The feeling that your husband does not support you during pregnancy persists, and communication seems blocked.

Of course, you can talk about your problems with family and friends. Here are some situations where professional help may be beneficial:

• Dialogue has broken down or conflicts are recurring: if every attempt at discussion leads to arguments or heavy silences, a family mediator or couples counselor can help facilitate communication.
• Emotional support is insufficient: when loneliness and distress become overwhelming, consulting a midwife or psychologist can help you put words to your needs.
• Preparing for childbirth is difficult: if you struggle to create a birth plan together or anticipate each person’s role, an external professional such as a healthcare provider can help clarify your expectations.

Seeking support gives you the best chance to fully experience your pregnancy, prepare for childbirth, and welcome your baby in a peaceful environment.

Relying on support networks

In addition to healthcare professionals, many networks exist to break isolation and find comfort among people experiencing similar situations.

• Support associations for expectant mothers: many organizations offer support groups, workshops, and drop-in sessions to discuss difficulties encountered during pregnancy, childbirth, or postpartum.
• Helplines and support platforms: specialized hotlines offer compassionate listening and advice for pregnant women going through periods of doubt or loneliness.
• Community centers: maternal and child health centers, maternity wards, or parenting preparation centers regularly organize meetings for mothers and expectant mothers. It is an opportunity to share your feelings.

In summary, pregnancy is an intense life stage that requires listening, understanding, and support. A lack of support is never insignificant: it can weaken your mental health, affect your relationship, and make preparation for parenthood more complex.

However, this situation is not inevitable. By identifying the causes of disengagement, expressing your needs and feelings to your partner, and relying on appropriate support, it is possible to regain a more peaceful balance. Asking for help, talking about your difficulties, and seeking support are legitimate and courageous steps that allow you to experience motherhood as calmly as possible.

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Photo credits: fentonroma | Prostock-studio | DragonImages | wear-it-out

This text was translated from French by an artificial intelligence. The information, advice, and sources it contains comply with French standards and may therefore not apply to your situation. Make sure to complement this reading by visiting the May US/UK app and consulting the healthcare professionals who are supporting you.