Pregnancy and Sexuality: What Changes?

There are many preconceived ideas about sexuality during pregnancy. Of course, your condition may require some adjustments or precautions compared to usual, but it is entirely possible to maintain a fulfilling sex life even while pregnant.

With Valentine’s Day approaching, let’s break down the myths surrounding sexuality during pregnancy.

How does pregnancy affect sexuality?

Just like any significant life event, pregnancy can affect your sexuality, whether alone or with your partner, and more broadly, your couple’s intimacy.

During pregnancy, your body experiences a complex hormonal process and some of these hormones can incidentally influence sexual desire. For example, oxytocin (especially in late pregnancy and childbirth), known as the “hormone of pleasure and love,” may increase your sexual desire.

On the other hand, pregnancy also brings fatigue, unpleasant symptoms like nausea, back pain, breast tenderness, stress, and anxiety… all of which can hinder sexual desire—which is completely understandable.

Sexual desire during the trimesters of pregnancy

Of course, there are no absolute rules. Firstly, because each woman experiences sexuality differently. Secondly, because every pregnant woman experiences pregnancy in her own unique way. So it’s impossible to generalize. However, since pregnancy symptoms can influence sexual desire, here’s how your sexuality may evolve throughout the trimesters.

First trimester

The first trimester is often associated with the onset of pregnancy symptoms, such as:

• nausea,
• frequent urination,
• fatigue,
• pain or cramping,
• digestive troubles,
• weight gain or loss,
• acne,
• mood swings,
• shortness of breath,
• changes in taste or sensitivity (for example, to certain smells)…

These symptoms are highly variable from one woman to another (sometimes even absent, and we hope that’s the case for you), but when intense, they may affect your libido.

Second trimester

It is usually during the second trimester that pregnancy symptoms ease: your body adjusts to hormonal fluctuations, which stabilize. So it wouldn’t be surprising if you experience an increase in libido.

Every woman experiences pregnancy and sexuality differently. If your libido doesn’t return in the second trimester, or if you simply don’t feel like having sex, don’t force yourself. Just a reminder: there is no obligation to have sex during pregnancy (or at any other time!). So listen to yourself first and foremost, and follow your desires and your body.

Third trimester

Once again, your desires during the third trimester may vary greatly. This is another period of physical and hormonal changes that can affect your libido.

Your growing belly may make sex more physically or psychologically challenging in some cases, or you may be advised against sex due to certain pregnancy complications. On the other hand, hormonal changes might also significantly boost your libido. Remember: oxytocin levels rise exponentially at the end of pregnancy and during childbirth, which may increase your desire for intimacy.

Pregnancy and sexuality: what about your partner?

Let’s not forget that pregnancy can also affect your partner’s sexuality because they, even without hormonal and physical changes, can be stressed, tired, or afraid of doing something wrong. That’s why it’s important to communicate as much as possible within the couple.

As you’ve understood, when it comes to sexuality, there are no rules; it all depends on each pregnant woman. Some will have a flourishing sexual appetite, sometimes even stronger than usual, while others won’t think about it for a second. All judgment and pressure on this matter are to be avoided. Except one: listen to yourself!

What are the benefits of sexuality during pregnancy?

Did you know? Sex offers many benefits during pregnancy. Let’s take a closer look.

Hormones

Sexual activity can trigger a true cocktail of well-being in your body, releasing hormones like oxytocin (the hormone of love and attachment that creates feelings of happiness and calm), endorphins (hormones that soothe nerves, reduce pain, and promote sleep), and serotonin (the hormone of good mood and stress relief).

The heart

Sexual arousal increases blood pressure and heart rate, which is excellent for the heart. Excitement, and the physiological changes that result, allow you to move from a state of rest to one of reactivity, giving your heart a healthy workout.

Is it safe to have sex during pregnancy?

There are many misconceptions about sex during pregnancy. However, in the vast majority of cases, sexual activity—as long as it is appropriate for the pregnancy (no extreme or dangerous practices)—is safe (and even very beneficial as we’ve seen above) for a pregnant woman.

Are penetrative sexual relations allowed during pregnancy?

Except for medical exceptions, there is no contraindication to having penetrative sex during pregnancy if you want to.

Your baby is well protected in the uterus and amniotic sac. There is therefore no risk of your partner touching or harming your baby (and no risk of this causing a pregnancy loss). Using a sex toy is also not a problem!

Good to know: during pregnancy, penetration should not be painful. Pain is your body’s alert signal, so listen to it carefully.

Sex during pregnancy: are there any risks?

As we’ve seen, in the vast majority of cases, sex during pregnancy is safe for you and your baby. However, medical contraindications may exist, which your midwife, gynecologist, or general practitioner will discuss with you if necessary. Here are some situations where penetrative sex is generally discouraged:

• Placenta previa: this is when the placenta is positioned over the cervix. During penetration, there may be bleeding and/or a risk of placental abruption.
• Bleeding during intercourse: while it may be harmless, it’s always recommended to consult your healthcare provider to make sure everything is fine.
• Premature rupture of membranes: in cases of preterm labor risk, your healthcare provider may advise stopping all sexual activity.

So here’s what to remember: rest assured, unless otherwise advised by your doctor, pregnancy is not the end of your sex life. And… you can have a wonderfully fulfilling sex life without penetration too!

Want to learn more? Feel free to download the May app, where you’ll find plenty of resources to support and guide you throughout your pregnancy.

Can sex trigger labor?

No! It’s true that semen contains prostaglandins, which help soften the cervix at the end of pregnancy. That’s why you often hear about the so-called “Italian induction.” However, having sex with ejaculation does not affect the timing of labor and does not trigger childbirth.

Sex during pregnancy: practical tips

Now that we’ve talked about the benefits of sex during pregnancy, here are some practical tips.

What sexual positions are recommended during pregnancy?

Again, there are no strict rules except to listen to your body: as long as you’re not in pain and feel good, go for it!

As we’ve said, your partner cannot touch your baby’s head during intercourse, no matter the position! Your child is safely protected by the amniotic sac.

The only thing we recommend is to avoid overly acrobatic positions that could present a fall risk for the mother-to-be.

Condoms during pregnancy

A condom is a contraceptive, primarily used to prevent pregnancy. But it also protects against sexually transmitted infections (STIs). Depending on your situation with your sexual partner(s), using a condom is highly recommended during pregnancy (especially if you have multiple partners).

Embracing your changing body during pregnancy

During pregnancy, your body will go through incredible changes. Among these changes, some may affect how you feel about your sexuality, such as:

• Your belly becoming rounder.
• Your breasts growing and becoming more sensitive.
• Colostrum leakage toward the end of pregnancy.
• Hemorrhoids.
• Stretch marks.
• An increase in vaginal discharge.
• Swelling of the vulva and heightened sensitivity in the clitoris, vagina, and labia…

Every pregnant woman experiences these symptoms differently. One woman may feel more attractive than ever, while another may feel uncomfortable in her changing body.

How to cope with these changes?

In her “Sexuality and Pregnancy” masterclass, available on the May app, sexologist Camille Bataillon shares many tips, including:

• Communicate with your partner and find solutions together: why not take this opportunity to reinvent your sexuality (positions, toys, locations, non-penetrative intimacy…)?
• Accept emotional ups and downs: how you feel will change from day to day, month to month, trimester to trimester—and that’s perfectly normal!

If you’re struggling, here are some helpful reflexes:

• Talk to someone you trust and/or a healthcare professional. The May chat was created to break taboos and talk freely. You can reach out to our midwives 7 days a week from 8 a.m. to 10 p.m. if you need to.
• Don’t isolate yourself: read testimonials and/or connect with people who have experienced similar feelings.

Sexuality after childbirth

Postpartum sexuality is a personal experience for each couple and should be approached without pressure. Move forward at your own pace and according to your desires, especially since fatigue and the arrival of your baby can also impact your libido. Once again: communication with your partner is key so that both of you can express your needs and any concerns.

Good to know: it takes time for your body to fully recover from childbirth. Don’t hesitate to use lubricant in case of dryness and take time for yourself to reconnect with your body image. Pelvic floor rehabilitation, strongly recommended even without complications, can also be a major asset to prevent discomfort when resuming sexual activity.

If you’ve experienced complications during childbirth, such as requiring instrumental assistance or surgery, your healthcare provider may advise you to wait until your body has recovered before resuming intimate relations (especially penetrative ones). Don’t hesitate to ask your doctor or midwife for more information.

Pssst! To learn more about this topic, don’t hesitate to watch the “Sexuality after having a child” masterclass, also available on our app.

As you can see, sexuality during pregnancy is a personal experience for each woman/couple. The key is to listen to yourself and communicate as needed with your partner. And of course, if needed, don’t hesitate to consult your doctor or midwife, or contact one of our healthcare professionals via the app’s chat feature.

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Photo credits: sianstock | Deliriss | nd3000 | Tonefotografia | wirestock | vanenunes | macniak | seventyfourimages | DC_Studio

This text was translated from French by an artificial intelligence. The information, advice, and sources it contains comply with French standards and may therefore not apply to your situation. Make sure to complement this reading by visiting the May US/UK app and consulting the healthcare professionals who are supporting you.