Potty training: key steps for successful learning

Many parents worry that their child will not be “potty trained” before starting preschool. It is important to remember that a child is not “dirty” if they are still wearing diapers—they simply haven’t yet acquired the physical and mental abilities to do otherwise. So how can you support your child in this learning process? What are the signs that show your child is ready?

May will guide you!

At what age is a child ready to learn potty training?

In most cases, a child can acquire the ability to control their bladder and bowels between 18 months and 3 years depending on their own pace. However, it is important to keep in mind that this learning process is not about age but rather about signs. In short, your child sets the timeline.

This may be frustrating for you, but it is useless, even counterproductive, to try to push your child to use the potty as long as they are not physically and psychologically ready. And generally, they are not before the age of 2.

What are the signs that my child is ready for potty training?

As you’ve understood, patience and observation are your best allies. To help you, here are the signs that show your child might be on the right path:

• They have developed some motor skills: for example, they can climb stairs, kick a ball, or jump. These are encouraging signs but not enough on their own, because your child must also be emotionally ready.
• They tell you when they pee or poop and ask you to change them and/or hold their diaper when they need to go. This shows they are becoming aware of their body on their own, which is a crucial step for what comes next.

What are effective methods to teach a child potty training?

Good news: you can help your child become aware when their bladder or bowels are “full” and that it’s time to pee or poop. To do this, we recommend verbalizing what is happening when they relieve themselves, for example by saying: “look, you are peeing.” This helps them put words to their sensations and therefore become naturally aware of them.

It is essential that this awareness comes from your child. Unlike many so-called “miracle” methods, we do not recommend putting your child on the potty at fixed times to make them go. In addition to putting unnecessary pressure on them, which could “block” them, it will not help your child identify their own sensations.

How can I encourage my child to use the potty?

Once your child has acquired the necessary skills to use the potty, you can encourage them to use it as often as possible. Here are a few tips to support them.

Before your child uses the potty:

• We recommend placing the potty in the bathroom and explaining what it’s for by comparing it to adult toilets. For example, you can tell them that when they are ready, it will be their own toilet. Don’t hesitate to let them play with the potty if they want (sitting on it fully clothed, putting a doll on it, etc.).
• Reading books about the human body, the food and elimination cycle, adapted for little ones, is a great way to teach them the potty’s function!

Here are a few book suggestions for potty training:

• T’choupi goes on the potty, by Thierry Courtin, Nathan editions.
• Pee, poop, potty!, by Magdalena and Claire Frossard, Flammarion jeunesse editions.
• Where does my poop go?, by Richard Watson, Larousse jeunesse editions.

And you can find many other resources available in the May app, especially through the guides “Reading tips for leaving diapers behind” or “Reading tips for using the potty.”

You can also buy them fabric underwear, explaining that it will replace diapers when they are ready.

• Don’t hesitate to say out loud when your child relieves themselves in their diaper. You can involve them in changing their diaper by having them participate. For example, we recommend encouraging them to throw away their dirty diaper while saying “you’re throwing away your poop.” This helps them move beyond the nurturing relationship linked to diapers and move toward one based on respect for their body and on active participation.

When your child has started using the potty:

• If your child tells you when they soil their diaper and their diaper sometimes stays dry for several hours, you can suggest they wear underwear and try to use the potty. There will inevitably be some “accidents.” If possible, we recommend starting this step in the summer. It will be easier for you because you can leave your child in underwear and clothes dry faster.
• At the beginning, you can put a diaper back on for outings as well as for naps and nighttime. This will make things easier for you and will help avoid confronting your child with failure.
• If after a few days it doesn’t work, don’t hesitate to go back to diapers while telling your child it’s okay and that you can try again later, when they feel ready.

In general, if you wait until your child spontaneously shows awareness of their needs and wants to use the potty, they will give up diapers quickly and without too many accidents. Patience is key: slow and steady wins the race!

How to approach potty training at night?

Day or night, your child leads the way!

You can start teaching nighttime continence when you notice the following signs:

• Your child goes several nights without wetting their diaper.
• They spontaneously ask to sleep without a diaper. In this case, we recommend agreeing and encouraging them. You should expect a few “accidents” at the beginning. Nevertheless, this will build your child’s confidence by showing that you believe they are capable of doing it.

Once your child no longer wears diapers during the day and you feel it’s the right time to move on to nighttime potty training, here are some tips you can follow:

• We do not recommend waking them up at night to take them to the toilet. Waking them in the middle of sleep risks disrupting their rhythm. This can make it harder to fall back asleep and cause fatigue for both them and you. Instead, suggest they go to the toilet right before going to sleep.
• While making sure your child stays well hydrated, it’s better to limit drinks during the two hours before bedtime.
• As with daytime potty training, when your child wets the bed (because this is inevitable), try to avoid showing frustration or punishing them. Easier said than done (especially at 4 a.m. after three nights in a row), but it is essential to help them build confidence in themselves and their abilities. We recommend reassuring them by saying it’s difficult but they will succeed.

If your child asks to go back to wearing a diaper at night, we recommend accepting so they can take a short break and try again later with more confidence. Of course, you can keep encouraging them during this time.

How long does potty training usually take?

In general, 3 to 6 months are needed from the first signs until a child can go completely without diapers during the day. Each child progresses at their own pace.

Want to learn more? Feel free to download the May app, where you’ll find plenty of resources to support and guide you throughout your journey as a new parent.

How to handle accidents during potty training?

At first, “accidents” are often due to your child forgetting to ask for the potty when they need it. This learning process requires an adjustment period and that’s perfectly normal!

To deal with these small mishaps, we recommend at first trying not to get upset, even if they frequently wet their clothes. It is better to praise their successes. At their age, it is normal for your child to often be absorbed in play and not listening to their body at that moment. You can watch for certain warning signs (wiggling, holding their lower belly…) and offer the potty proactively.

At this stage, you can encourage them to use the potty before going out, before washing, or before bed. However, be careful not to force them to sit on it for a long time if they don’t want to.

What type of potty is best to start potty training?

There are many potty options on the market. You can choose a simple potty to start learning continence. We recommend buying one with a backrest for your child’s comfort.

Good to know: the potty allows your child to sit in what is called a physiological position (their knees are higher than their hips). This position relaxes the sphincters and makes it easier to eliminate stool and urine.

What about a toilet reducer?

The reducer has the advantage of being space-saving. It is perfectly suitable as long as you provide a step stool high enough for your child to be almost squatting and adopt the physiological position mentioned above. They can also use this step stool to flush the toilet, like a grown-up!

In conclusion, once you’ve spotted the signs that your child is ready to use the potty or toilet, you can gently begin potty training. It may take some time, but that’s not a problem—every child moves at their own pace.

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Photo: yanadjana

This text was translated from French by an artificial intelligence. The information, advice, and sources it contains comply with French standards and may therefore not apply to your situation. Make sure to complement this reading by visiting the May US/UK app and consulting the healthcare professionals who are supporting you.