{"id":24723,"date":"2025-06-26T07:00:39","date_gmt":"2025-06-26T07:00:39","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.may.app\/?p=24723"},"modified":"2025-07-02T11:51:39","modified_gmt":"2025-07-02T11:51:39","slug":"letting-baby-cry-himself-to-sleep","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.may.app\/en\/blog\/newborn\/letting-baby-cry-himself-to-sleep\/","title":{"rendered":"Letting baby cry himself to sleep: methods, benefits and limits"},"content":{"rendered":"\r\n\r\n<span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Crying is your baby\u2019s only means of communication to express hunger, discomfort, a need for contact, or simply to release the emotions of the day. At bedtime, <strong>your baby may need to cry to find sleep<\/strong>. Should you intervene? Or is it okay to let them cry a little so they learn to fall back asleep on their own?<\/span>\r\n\r\n<span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><strong>Letting your baby cry to sleep<\/strong>: let\u2019s take a closer look.<\/span>\r\n<h2><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The basics of infant sleep<\/span><\/h2>\r\n<span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Here\u2019s what you need to know about your baby\u2019s sleep patterns.<\/span>\r\n<h3><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Baby\u2019s sleep rhythms<\/span><\/h3>\r\n<span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">At birth, your baby\u2019s sleep is very different from that of an adult. It is characterized by:<\/span>\r\n<ul>\r\n \t<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><strong>Very short cycles<\/strong>: a newborn alternates between sleep cycles of <strong>around 40 to 50 minutes, compared to 90 to 120 minutes in adults<\/strong>. At the end of each cycle, they may briefly wake up, then fall back asleep or need your presence to feel soothed.<\/span><\/li>\r\n<\/ul>\r\n<span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">At birth, your baby alternates between two main sleep phases:<\/span>\r\n<ul>\r\n \t<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><strong>Active or REM sleep<\/strong>: this is the dominant phase, accounting for about 80% of your baby\u2019s sleep time. During this phase, they move, may breathe irregularly, and sometimes even open their eyes&#8230; but they\u2019re sleeping!<\/span><\/li>\r\n \t<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><strong>Quiet sleep<\/strong>: your baby\u2019s body is relaxed, their breathing is regular, and their face is calm. This is when their body recovers physically.<\/span><\/li>\r\n<\/ul>\r\n<span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">As the weeks go by, the duration of these wake phases increases and your baby\u2019s sleep structure becomes more complex. Naps remain frequent and spread over 24 hours, especially in the first few months.<\/span>\r\n<h3><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Common sleep disturbances<\/span><\/h3>\r\n<span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">In the first months, your baby\u2019s sleep is not yet regulated, and it\u2019s perfectly normal to face difficulties falling asleep or nighttime awakenings.<\/span>\r\n<ul>\r\n \t<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><strong>Frequent awakenings<\/strong>: your infant often wakes between cycles, mainly due to hunger or temporary discomfort.<\/span><\/li>\r\n \t<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><strong>Crying at bedtime<\/strong>: crying is a normal form of expression for your baby. They\u2019re signaling that they need something or simply asking for a cuddle or your presence to feel reassured.<\/span><\/li>\r\n \t<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><strong>On-demand breastfeeding<\/strong>: breastfed babies often seek the breast to fall asleep or to go back to sleep during nighttime awakenings.<\/span><\/li>\r\n<\/ul>\r\n<span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If awakenings or crying become difficult to manage, don\u2019t hesitate to consult your doctor or pediatrician for guidance and reassurance on best bedtime practices with your child.<\/span>\r\n<h3><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Discharge and sleep-onset crying<\/span><\/h3>\r\n<span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Discharge crying refers to frequent episodes where your child <strong>releases the tensions accumulated throughout the day<\/strong>. These episodes usually occur in the evening and are not health-related but rather a natural mechanism for managing stress and emotions.<\/span>\r\n\r\n<span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><strong>Several factors can trigger this crying<\/strong>: fatigue, overstimulation, stress from new situations, or frustration linked to their limited autonomy. Manifestations can include intense crying, angry gestures, or rejection behaviors.<\/span>\r\n\r\n<span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">To support your child, it is recommended to stay calm, establish a soothing routine, reduce stimulation, and <strong>welcome their emotions with empathy<\/strong>.<\/span>\r\n\r\n<span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Crying at bedtime is also very common and allows your baby to <strong>release tensions so they can let go and fall asleep<\/strong>. Just like we sometimes need to \u201cprocess\u201d thoughts for a few minutes before sleeping, your baby may need to \u201cgrumble\u201d a bit before drifting off.<\/span>\r\n\r\n<span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">However, if the crying becomes excessive, comes with behavior changes, or persists despite your efforts, it\u2019s advisable to consult your healthcare professional <strong>to rule out any underlying issues<\/strong>.<\/span>\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Want to learn more? Feel free to <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/app.adjust.com\/1pblulz8\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">download the May app<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, where you&#8217;ll find plenty of resources to support and guide you throughout your pregnancy.<\/span>\r\n\r\n<span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter wp-image-24527 size-full\" src=\"https:\/\/www.may.app\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/05\/close-up-shot-of-infant-crying-a-small-caucasian-2024-11-28-11-49-41-utc.webp\" alt=\"Letting baby cry himself to sleep: methods, benefits and limits - May App Sant\u00e9\" width=\"1000\" height=\"563\" title=\"\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.may.app\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/05\/close-up-shot-of-infant-crying-a-small-caucasian-2024-11-28-11-49-41-utc.webp 1000w, https:\/\/www.may.app\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/05\/close-up-shot-of-infant-crying-a-small-caucasian-2024-11-28-11-49-41-utc-300x169.webp 300w, https:\/\/www.may.app\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/05\/close-up-shot-of-infant-crying-a-small-caucasian-2024-11-28-11-49-41-utc-768x432.webp 768w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1000px) 100vw, 1000px\" \/><\/span>\r\n<h2><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Letting your baby cry to sleep: a solution?<\/span><\/h2>\r\n<span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Crying at sleep onset is therefore completely normal and often a way for your child to find sleep. Should you let them cry without intervening?<\/span>\r\n<h3><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The intensity and duration of crying<\/span><\/h3>\r\n<span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">As we\u2019ve seen, crying at sleep onset can be a way for your child to find sleep.<\/span>\r\n\r\n<span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">As long as the crying is mild and short, you can leave your baby for a few minutes to fall asleep in their crib without intervening. But if the crying lasts longer or is more intense, it may mean that <strong>your baby needs your presence<\/strong> to meet one of their needs or to feel reassured. Far from you, your baby may feel a significant sense of insecurity.<\/span>\r\n\r\n<span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Your presence is soothing for your infant. <strong>It is therefore recommended to respond to your child\u2019s cries<\/strong>, especially in the first months.<\/span>\r\n\r\n<span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Why is proximity so important?<\/span>\r\n<ul>\r\n \t<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">A baby who feels heard and comforted learns that they can rely on their parents to calm their fears or discomforts.<\/span><\/li>\r\n \t<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Room-sharing, also known as co-sleeping, is recommended by the WHO up to 6 months. It facilitates <strong>on-demand breastfeeding<\/strong>, makes it easier to detect signs of wakefulness, and allows quick responses to your baby\u2019s needs, reducing the duration and intensity of nighttime crying.<\/span><\/li>\r\n<\/ul>\r\n<span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Here are some simple gestures to reassure your baby:<\/span>\r\n<ul>\r\n \t<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Hold them in your arms or <strong>gently rock<\/strong> them if they\u2019re crying.<\/span><\/li>\r\n \t<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Speak calmly, place a hand on their tummy, or offer a cuddle.<\/span><\/li>\r\n<\/ul>\r\n<span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">By offering your baby this constant and reassuring presence, you help them build <strong>a trusting relationship<\/strong> and <strong>develop their own soothing abilities over time<\/strong>.<\/span>\r\n\r\n<span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><strong>Good to know<\/strong>: if you start to feel overwhelmed or irritated, it\u2019s sometimes better to safely lay your baby down for a few minutes and take the time to calm yourself before going back.<\/span>\r\n<h3><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The 5-10-15 method: a bad idea<\/span><\/h3>\r\n<span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You may hear about the Ferber method, often called the \u201c5-10-15 method.\u201d This approach involves <strong>gradually spacing out your interventions<\/strong> when your baby cries at bedtime or during nighttime awakenings.<\/span>\r\n\r\n<span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Be careful, <strong>this method<\/strong>, popularized in the 1980s, <strong>does not actually offer educational benefits<\/strong>. In reality, your infant cries to express a need, <strong>whether emotional or physiological<\/strong>. When left to cry without intervention, they\u2019re left alone facing intense stress. Repeatedly, this stress can also <strong>potentially impact their brain development<\/strong>.<\/span>\r\n\r\n<span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><strong>The effects are far from positive<\/strong>. On the contrary, they mainly learn to stop expressing their needs, adapting to the absence of response from their caregivers. Gradually, <strong>they may withdraw into themselves<\/strong>. This adaptive behavior is not a sign of autonomy, but rather a survival mechanism.<\/span>\r\n\r\n<span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> <img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter wp-image-24530 size-full\" src=\"https:\/\/www.may.app\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/05\/baby-sleeping-crying-2025-01-16-14-20-34-utc.webp\" alt=\"Letting baby cry himself to sleep: methods, benefits and limits - May App Sant\u00e9\" width=\"1000\" height=\"667\" title=\"\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.may.app\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/05\/baby-sleeping-crying-2025-01-16-14-20-34-utc.webp 1000w, https:\/\/www.may.app\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/05\/baby-sleeping-crying-2025-01-16-14-20-34-utc-300x200.webp 300w, https:\/\/www.may.app\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/05\/baby-sleeping-crying-2025-01-16-14-20-34-utc-768x512.webp 768w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1000px) 100vw, 1000px\" \/><\/span>\r\n<h2><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Alternatives to soothe and help your baby fall asleep<\/span><\/h2>\r\n<span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Here are some tips to soothe and calm your child at bedtime. Establishing a simple routine with bedtime rituals every night creates a predictable and reassuring environment for your child.<\/span>\r\n\r\n<strong>Examples of soothing routines:<\/strong>\r\n<ul>\r\n \t<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">a warm bath followed by a gentle massage to relieve the day\u2019s tensions,<\/span><\/li>\r\n \t<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">a long cuddle, a lullaby, or a calmly told story,<\/span><\/li>\r\n \t<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">offering their favorite comfort toy,<\/span><\/li>\r\n \t<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">dimming the lights and avoiding stimulation like screens,<\/span><\/li>\r\n \t<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">putting them to bed at regular times, even for naps, helps structure your baby\u2019s rhythm.<\/span><\/li>\r\n<\/ul>\r\n<strong>Some practical tips:<\/strong>\r\n<ul>\r\n \t<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Pay attention to signs of <strong>fatigue<\/strong> like staring into space, rubbing eyes, or yawning to put your baby to bed before they become overtired.<\/span><\/li>\r\n \t<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If one night the routine doesn\u2019t go as planned, there\u2019s no need to worry. What matters most is long-term consistency, not perfection every single time.<\/span><\/li>\r\n<\/ul>\r\n<span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Crying at bedtime is therefore common. When it\u2019s short and mild, you can let your baby cry for a few minutes to fall asleep. But when the crying lasts, <strong>it\u2019s better to comfort your child<\/strong>. In any case, trust yourself\u2014you are the best placed to know what your child needs!<\/span>\r\n\r\n**\r\n\r\nPhoto credits: valuavitaly | Johnstocker\r\n\r\n<span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">This text was translated from French by an artificial intelligence. The information, advice, and sources it contains comply with French standards and may therefore not apply to your situation. Make sure to complement this reading by visiting the May ES\/UK app and consulting the healthcare professionals who are supporting you.<\/span>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Crying is your baby\u2019s only means of communication to express hunger, discomfort, a need for contact, or simply to release the emotions of the day. At bedtime, your baby may need to cry to find sleep. Should you intervene? Or is it okay to let them cry a little so they learn to fall back [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":23,"featured_media":10289,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[192,197,199],"tags":[150,152],"class_list":["post-24723","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-newborn","category-baby-6-12-months","category-baby-1-year","tag-baby-daily-life","tag-baby-sleep"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.may.app\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/24723","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.may.app\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.may.app\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.may.app\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/23"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.may.app\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=24723"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.may.app\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/24723\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":24724,"href":"https:\/\/www.may.app\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/24723\/revisions\/24724"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.may.app\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/10289"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.may.app\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=24723"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.may.app\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=24723"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.may.app\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=24723"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}